The Worst 31st
by Stu the Strage
Summary: Micheal Myers goes to Minnesota to find a cousin. This is more complicated then he expected. This is my first Story so please be nice in reviews. Rated T for violence and language, and some crude humor. PLEASE READ & REVIEW
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

2:09 AM, October 30th, somewhere in Minnesota

The Trucker drove through the back road that he had decided to take. He was pissed when he realized it was a wrong turn. He honked the air horn violently until something caught his eye in the middle of the road. A tall man in a white Halloween mask, and black clothing was standing in front of the truck. The trucker honked the air horn violently to scare him out of the road.

_Jesus H. Christ _he thought. He honked again; the man remained in his position solemnly. After 20 consecutive minutes of honking horn the Trucker jumped out of his cab. He smiled mechanically and spoke to the man.

"Excuse me sir, but your standing in the middle of the road." He said.

The man stared and breathed heavily

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE ROAD." The Trucker yelled.

After twenty more minutes of screaming obscurities into the man's face, the Trucker decided to lead him off the road. The man grabbed him and twisted his arm. Unfortunately for the man, the Trucker had been a pro wrestler before he decided to start trucking and hit the man for twenty consecutive minutes. The man ran to get in the truck's cab. In the fashion of a science fiction horror movie the Trucker grabbed his ankle to pull him out of the cab. The man desperately scrambled into the Truck and pushed the gas peddle as hard as he could, running over the Trucker crushing his body into the asphalt.

At a hardware store in Benton, Minnesota, every one in the store was looking at a man in a white mask, which was looking at knives.

"Mommy", a little boy asked his Mom, "Why is that man over there wearing that funny mask."

"I don't know honey just don't stare at him he might come over here." The Mother said.

The store's, manager came over and spoke to the man.

"Hello sir, are you finding every thing okay?" The manager asked.

The man looked around as if the Manager was speaking to someone else, and then nodded.

"Good, but I am afraid I have to ask you to remove that Mask." The manager said.

The Man began breathing heavily.

"Sir, are you okay?" The manager asked, concerned

He breathed heavier.

"DEAR GOD, HE IS HAVING A HEART ATTACK, SOME ONE CALL A DOCTOR." The Manager screamed. Panicked.

Before Michael Myers knew it, he was pinned down on the ground by paramedics, who were trying to shock the adrenaline back into his heart. He had come to Minnesota to find a cousin. Little did he know this would be he most painful Halloween ever.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The Paramedics chased Michael down the street. Michael managed to lose them by running through traffic. He looked down, relieved to see he still had the butcher knife.

He was aware that in a town next to Benton, lived his cousin, Sheryl.

October 31st

Buckingham, Minnesota,

Sheryl Rivet was walking to school next to her friends, Bucky and Dina. Bucky was holding his head in his hands as he walked.

"I have such a bad hangover." Bucky said.

"Bucky, you always have hangovers, you've been an alcoholic since you were ten, THAT'S SEVEN YEARS." Said Dina, who had very Holier then thou attitude.

Sheryl who was always oblivious to almost every thing looked over to see large semi truck pulling its self next to where they were walking.

"WOW YOU'RE A GREAT STALKER." She yelled.

Michael looked out from the semi. Sheryl flipped him off. Michael honked the air horn and sped off.

"I have such a bad hangover." Bucky said.

Michael parked the semi across from the school and watched. He was still trembling from the 10,000 volts that had been forced into his body. A group of elementary students saw him shaking. They were in Halloween costumes.

"Mister, are you cold?" A ghost asked him. Michael shook his head.

Do you have Parkinson's disease?" an Astronaut asked him.

Michael tilted his head in confusion (Keep in mind that he has been locked in a mental institution for 15 years.)

"You don't know what that is? Wow your stupid!" the astronaut said.

Michael slapped him.

"OW DADDY." The little boy in the astronaut costume yelled.

Much to Michael's distaste, like the Trucker, the Boys father was and ex professional wrestler.

After being beaten by the father, and clubbed with the elementary students backpacks. Michael made his way to the Cafeteria of Sheryl's high school.

During lunch Sheryl saw him. Standing there.

"Who's that?" Sheryl asked the janitor Ernie.

"I don't know but I've stuck about twelve 'kick me' signs on him so far Ernie laughed.

Though Ernie may have laughing, the next time he would walk by, Michael would grab him, and take out back and slit Ernie's throat


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

At about Six 'O Clock Michael had somehow managed to get to Sheryl's neighbor hood, and had taken refuge in a hedge. He saw her for the first time following Bucky, Dina, and Bucky's girlfriend, Sherry, into Dina's house. He was about to make a run for the basement window, when he heard something the made him freeze in horror, which was very, very, rare.

Someone had broken into his stolen semi.

He turned to see two teenagers, named Greg and Connor, slashing the tires of his semi, honking the air horn… Michael stalked over to the Truck, pulled Greg out of the cab, and snapped his neck. Connor walked over to see what was happening when he came face to face with Michael Myers, butcher knife in hand.

"Oh… Shit!" Connor squeaked.

Connor looked around for and escapes and then faced Michael.

"Hey dude… you want a fatty?" Connor said, holding up a Marijuana stick.

Michael chased Connor down the street and onto a porch. Michael began to stab him violently. Once Michael was done killing Connor, he turned to see the porch was full of crying trick-or-treaters. The parents did not look happy.

"Hey assholes, just what is your definition of Halloween fun." A mother growled.

"Yeah, guys what the hell?" Someone else asked.

About thirty seconds later, Michael, along with Connor's limp body, were thrown into a swimming pool.

Michael was just about to get out of the pool to murder the parents when he realized he was right next door to Dina's house.

Michael made his way into the basement. He crawled in silently, and heard foot steps in the floor above him. He made his way up the stairs to find a horrified Dina.

Dina began to scream. She screamed and screamed, and screamed until she collapsed on the floor. Michael went over to the body to find that Dina had not breathed during the time she screamed, and died due to air loss. A completely dumbstruck Michael Myers grabbed the body to dispose of it. As he was carrying it out to the trash can Michael saw a police man approach him.

"Excuse, me ma'am," the police man said speaking to the body. "I heard screaming, is everything ok?"

He didn't seem to notice Michael was behind her. Michael shook the bodies head "yes."

"Okay, thank you ma'am stay out of trouble." The police man said and left.

As soon as he was gone Michael dropped the body in the trash can. It was time to take care of everyone else.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own Michael Myers or any of John Carpenter's characters. But the Characters I have created are mine. Do not plagiarize any part of my plot or characters.

Michael was about to proceed up to the house when he saw Sheryl walking on the other side of the street. Michael began to approach.

"What are you doing?" Sheryl asked, looking frightened. Michael raised the butcher knife. Sheryl pulled out a can of pepper spray and spayed it directly into Michael's eyes.

"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU PIG FUCKING CREEP." Sheryl yelled.

So for the forty five minutes the pepper spray worked Michael sat against a wall. When it finally stopped working Michael rose.

He looked around to see Bucky walking near him. Michael approached him. Bucky took on look at him and said: "I have such a bad hangover."

Michael began to breathe heavily.

"I have such a bad hangover." Bucky said

Michael raised the knife.

"I have such a bad hangover."

Michael brought the knife down.

"I have GGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Bucky screamed, gurgling blood.

Bucky fell down with a bloody thump.

Walked to the block were Sheryl lived on until he was stopped by the police.

"Excuse me sir, we found a dead body about a block away, and since you're the only sober person over 18 that's wearing a mask, I am going to have to search you." The police man said casually.

Michael, who had put up with enough crap that night, smashed the police man's head with his bear hands. Michael heard someone crying from behind. He turned to see the tick-or-treaters with their parents.

"You two again." A father said.

Michael and the Police man again were thrown into the swimming pool, Connor's body still at the bottom. Michael got up and made his way to Sheryl's house.

Michael braced him self for what ever horrifying pain might be in there and broke down the door.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Michael broke down the door. He saw Sheryl's brother Mark hunched over some left over chicken, which was meant to be dinner for the next evening.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Mark said apologetically to Michael.

Michael slashed at him, stabbing into the couch.

"JESUS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SO INSENSITIVE ABOUT THIS,

JERK." Mark squealed

Michael stabbed once again at Mark, but missed. Mark managed to fend off Michael, by beating him repeatedly, with a chicken leg. Michael turned to exit when he saw a familiar face. Sheryl.

"You just keep pushing it and pushing it today, huh?" Sheryl growled.

Michael raised his knife and approached her. Sheryl realizing she didn't have pepper spay ran for her room. Michael followed.

Michael rammed the door until it open by its self. There, Sheryl Rivet stood, Shotgun in hand. She pointed and pulled the trigger, Michael pushed the barrel away. Hearing that sound, Sheryl's parents (Michael's aunt and uncle.) Entered.

"Sheryl what are you doing?" her father asked completely ignoring her between life and death struggle with his homicidal nephew.

"Dad, help." Sheryl cried.

"Sheryl, there is a fucking killer on the loose; if you make too much he will come here." He said

"I know, Dad, he's right here."

"He's killed Ernie, a boy named Greg, someone called Connor, Dina, Bucky, and a Police officer, and also maybe a trucker. That's SEVEN people. Do you want to be the eighth?"

"Dad, help." Sheryl yelped.

"I know you'll be fine Sheryl." Her mother said, sweetly and shut the door.

Sheryl turned and glared at Michael.

"Damn, you."

She yanked the shot gun out of his hands, and shot him, square in the chest.

Michael fell out of the second story window, onto the garage roof, and into the neighbor's freezing pond. Michael emerged quickly. Too Michael tired to go on Michael Myers left Buckingham . On the way out Michael met a laughing Doctor Loomis, who Michael hit as hard a he could. Feeling better Michael Myers walked off into the night.

THE END

Declaimer: I don't own Michael Myers or any of John Carpenter's characters. I do however own this plot and the Characters I have introduced. Do not plagiarize them!

Thanks for reading. Special thanks for those who have reviewed, you know who you are, so give your self a big pat on the back.

If you haven't reviewed, please do. Sorry about the end, I had trouble proof reading and it got scrambled up. **Once again, I highly encourage any one who reads this to post a review. Thank you.**


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